Is my priority peace of mind?

written by Simone on Saturday, July 24th, 2010

“It’s easy to live in the moment, when most of your moments take place in Maui.”

Sometimes the stresses of the day can be too much. I realized that I brought home with me and allowed stay for the evening thoughts of the day; conversations real and imagined along with all of the would-be confrontations.  Throughout the evening, I had moments of telling myself to ‘let it go’ and then found myself moments later swept away by thoughts of what needs to be done, what has to get done, what isn’t getting done, and  the ramifications of it all.  The endless rollercoaster of thoughts are accompanied by the peaks of anxiety and the lows of depression and then… disappointment. I am disappointed by the realization that I have little control over my mind or the unreasonable attachment to the stories and inner drama.

I have decided to give myself permission – so psych 101 – to not ‘let it go’ rather I will feel whatever comes up and allow it to be exactly how it is stressful and totally unwanted. 

But today I also know what my priorities are as opposed to even a few years ago; my priority is to allow life to flow through me be a part of the entire process, but most importantly live connected to the inner still quiet pure consciousness of me. This state of being in the world is my priority and more important than what is going on out there – from relationships to goals to world peace. No matter how seemingly urgent my mind believes it to be, my state of being is first.

So now when the stress of life come up and they are up full force now I am grounded in the knowledge that whatever is happening outside of the inner quiet space of me (that I have better access to with meditation, yoga and spiritual practice) is just that, the outside or peripheral, not unimportant but secondary to the inner state.  I am nowhere close to living it but somehow just the knowledge and my commitment to this understanding reduces the stress (pain around the thoughts) in this moment. Peace of mind is my priority, I am not always able to reside there but for this moment I am – and I hear that’s all there is.